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My favorite sports memory is of my son at a soccer game when he was five. He was standing right by the opposing team's goal with no defenders between he and the goal. The ball rolled slowly past him in the perfect location for a shot at the goal. The ball kept rolling as he looked at me in the stands. Time proved that soccer was not his thing.
He has moved on to love basketball and appreciate football. He is also trying out the electric guitar with much success, though I believe we need to begin only allowing him to express his musical talents after everyone else in the house is awake in the morning.
Be patient and open as your child explores activities that fit his or her personality. Try these strategies to keep extra-curricular activities from becoming extra-conflictual activities.
How can you know when your child is ready to start a sport or take lessons?
Evaluate time: can your schedule handle the new commitment without causing too much extra stress?
Evaluate your child's maturity: is she ready for the challenge? Will the new challenge be too overwhelming?
Evaluate your child's interest: is your child very interested, open to trying it, or not interested at all?
Evaluate resources: will the experience be worth the investment?
What conflicts do extra-curricular activities sometimes create?
You may believe that taking piano or beginning soccer by a certain age is crucial while your child may have no interest.
Your child may agree to start a new activity, but then not give any effort.
Your child may want to quit in the middle of the commitment.
What can you do when you want your child to take lessons or play a sport, but your child does not want to?
Provide gentle guidance
Try out the activity for a limited time span
Focus on the aspects of the activity your child does enjoy, such as time with friends
Find less structured ways of exposing your child to the experience rather than making a huge commitment
What if your child agrees to take a class or get started in something new, but then wont practice or she wants to quit?
Avoid impulsive decisions
It is important to complete commitments
Show understanding
Emphasize what your child is enjoying about it
Express that you know it may not be his favorite activity and that you can talk about whether he will continue when the commitment is over
Listen and focus on helping your child decide whether it is something to continue or not. Sometimes stepping back and giving the decision to your child along with gentle guidance gives your child the opportunity to make the commitment for himself. You may provide more direction on certain activities and less on others.
What should the goals of extracurricular activities be?
Extra activities give children opportunities for:
Learning
Friendship-building
Confidence-building
Fun
If the struggle over the extra activity outweighs the above outcomes, there may be other activities that are more fulfilling.
Do not feel pressured to make your child do something just because other children do it. Be creative in finding enriching activities for your child. Avoid extremes: not making your child do anything or pushing your child to do too much or do something that does not fit her interests at all.
Kids have plenty of time to discover their interests.
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